“Do you think I am spiritual?”
It’s a question I’d ask my husband. But why ask him that? How would he really know? Is spirituality something you wear or shout out to the world?
Sometimes I guess…
His answer would probably be yes.
From the outside, I am a child of two Christian parents, raised in a Christian household, Baptized and Confirmed in the Methodist church. I loosely attend a nondenominational church. I own Bibles and Christian devotionals and have bought those things for my kids.
I have one devoted Christian child, one that is “on-board” and two that are kinda iffy about the whole thing. I bring that up, because I have instilled this in them so I think that their familiarity with religion and spirituality are my responsibility, or at least my influence.
In recent years, against my Christian upbringing, I have begun exploring other spiritual experiences. I am an avid breath and energy worker – only on myself and family at this point – and I have a certification in crystal healing.
Though it is a real struggle for someone who has a hard time resting, focusing and sitting still, I meditate as often as I can. My goal is to do it at least daily this year. This all has made a huge difference in the way I go about being a spiritual person.
It started out as a mental health journey. My depression and anxiety can be eased by stillness and silence. It’s pretty common now for people to use breathing exercises, visualization, affirmations, meditation, etc… to improve the quality of life in a fast paced world. These are ancient practices that have become mainstream. Using these techniques have opened the doors to so much more that may be out there. I have melded many of my beliefs at this point. To the fundamental Christian church of my childhood- you were right, these practices were a gateway to other belief systems.
Sorry, not sorry.
Oh, how they warned me!
Those warnings made me so scared of exploring anything outside of what the Bible says. I held such guilt for feeling the pull of different ideas and it set me back from researching ways to help my mind and body while here on the earthly plane.
Here’s how I reconcile it:
Why would God want me to suffer and allow methods to be devised that can actually help me and then tell me to just look at at it from afar?
How likely is it that things were written in the Bible that some dude just thought sounded right?
How likely is it that a king decided he didn’t like something or thought he knew God better than anyone else and had things edited? I mean, we know that happened, so…
I do not question that there is a higher power and I call him God. But my God may be your Spirit or Universe. I have no doubt that we are all talking about the same thing.
I have had a deep interest in other religions and cultures for my entire life. I was sure they were misguided, but I thought it would be so fascinating to understand how they came to create their beliefs systems. I was taught that even having this interest was likely the devil or demons trying to lead me astray. I always felt conflicted because how the heck am I supposed to know what the truth is? I can remember asking my mom if an angel came to me, should I believe it’s really an angel from God OR could it be a demon that is trying to trick me and make me think that what it tells me is God’s will, but it’s really the devil’s? What a mind trip?! I had some religious OCD and intruding thoughts. Shocking, I know.
Side Note: I do not believe that religion or religious beliefs cause anxiety and OCD. Those are conditions that you are already predisposed to having. However, many beliefs link back to following rules and doing things a certain way which tends to cause those with these conditions to stress about it.
I couldn’t resist my interests. It’s like resisting a craving and nothing else will satisfy it. So, I read the books and watch the shows and listen to podcasts. And here’s what I have realized- so much of it is the same story. My forbidden interests have given me a lot of answers – good and bad. My interests are likely a calling or nudge from God/the universe. That is usually what our passions are. It’s God given for a purpose.
That was just some background on me for context. There’s so much I want to talk about on this subject, but that’s not really what this post is about. This post is about knowing if you are spiritual. I know that I am. My husband knows that I am.
What if I asked an acquaintance?
Their answer would probably be “I don’t know…” Because I am not the stereotype of what a spiritual person looks like. While you might see a vague post on Facebook or spot me in church, what would lead anyone to think anything about me? The answer is that they probably wouldn’t give me a second glance in passing or question my beliefs in conversation.
Being spiritual does not follow a formula or make you “that type.” It is a journey that one takes. It’s asking questions and waiting for answers. It’s always learning, always seeking. I don’t want someone to say to themselves, “I am not that type of person.” Because I feared it. I was afraid I was too much or not enough. But the truth is that there is no one way to do this. Whatever you know about yourself is the truth about you. It can change over and over again. We all evolve and Become.
What are you seeking? What do you question? Tell me about your journey.